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 It's probably no secret now that I'm single again. Hanna left me, and Horizon to pursue 'bigger and better' things. I think she got a modeling gig that is worth a fair amount of money. I don't blame her for going, we all contemplate our true calling but I wish we would have worked out. If that wasn't love, then what was it? I don't know--I've always been so wrapped up in my skating and partying with my friends, that I never felt lonely before. Now I'm feeling it though. I don't know what to do, half of me wants to go home--but I was supposed to go home and bring her to meet my family, so the other half of me just wants to hide until it boils over and people stop asking 'what happened?' because, I honestly do not even know.
  She said she'll always love me, but then she said this was goodbye.
I've never been good at these things; so I've just kept to myself mostly. Skating. More skating, and then heavy thinking--back to the bottle again, and more skating.

I don't know. Someone's got to be able to take my mind off this.

Anyone want to go skating? Or grab a beer?
   Life is funny. I don't even think I mean 'ha ha' funny, although, it can be that too. Here I am, some little Philly skate rat ,sitting on the front lawn of a college campus, typing in my journal from my lap top to avoid finishing up the last of my work. Part of me welcomes summer, the warm sun beating down on my shoulders, the wonderful cool rain in the evenings, but at the same time, I think I'm going to miss the daily grind. I've got a lot of skate competitions coming up over the summer, one signed, but typed, letter from the man, the legend, and the absolute non debatable hero of skating himself, Tony Hawk. Suggests over the summer I may get into his Huckjam--it's just a display for upcoming and pro skaters--but it's also JUST brought to you by Tony motherfucking Hawk. I  want to type a bunch of jumbled letters that mean nothing like a little schoolgirl would, but I'll refrain. I'm wondering now where this is going to take me, what if I'm a pro by next year and I don't need college? What if I fail? I don't know, but I'm preparing for the best or the worst. And mean time, and amazing summer. I think. 

  I also never thought I'd say this--but I'm beginning to miss the city of brotherly love--and my own brother, Jess. And my stupid cats. Miss them too

Consider me updated, Matey.


I love Han
 I don't know what to put here anymore, I swear sometimes I feel so abnormal because I write about more things then the person I'm dating. I think I'm in a maternity ward/ old people's home. I drive three hours to hit up the closest college parties--because they are full of people with life, that can drink because they aren't pregnant, that can drive their cars fast because they aren't parents, that can still take risks because they are still young. It breathes a new life into me, I've never been the kind of guy that can just sit around scrumping and putting my home life on fast forward. I like excitement. In fact, I damn near crave it.
   At least the good news is since I have an official sponsor now, I'll be stuck on campus bored out of my mind far less--I get to be skating and making money.
 I'm not putting anyone down, if that old settled life is for you, congrats--somebody's got to do it.
I'm just saying, next time you start thinking "Oh no--I couldn't possibly" Just do it. Pick up a paintball gun and shoot someone. Drive over the speed limit with some perfectly manicured bullshit excuse about your family--hell, you've probably got a preggo to ride shotgun that can say their water broke. Why not?
It's my motto.
Why not.
Why not do something daring? Why not invite a little change? Hell, get a tattoo--I've seen the work the kid on campus does and it's bad ass.

Live your life, folks.

I'm out 'till the next episode.

Tony Hawk---eat your heart out.

Tomorrow the paper's are to read

'Local boy scores a contract with Toy Factory'

Tonight, I celebrate. Hannaaaaaaaa come find me.

What can I say?

    I don't know if anyone remembers me talking about my best friend Arbor or not, but this is why you can't come between a friendship like ours. Yes, I am straight jump kicking my best friend in the face. And you know what, he BET me ten bucks I wouldn't do it. Jump kicking someone and getting ten bucks for it is pretty sweet.

So, that's obviously where I was this Spring Break--hanging out with him, and it was also nice to see my family back home. Everyone's in good spirits, and my little neice or nephew is still brewing just fine in their mom's stomach from what I hear, so good news there. My older brother Jesse is just as crazy as usual, drumming up (literally) some new fans for his garage band by playing on the top floor of a Philly parking garage. I guess the man knows what he's doing, because Oil (his band) has been offered a night at a local venue called the 'toy factory' to showcase their talents.

 Me? I'm still waiting on edge to get to the skate competition, it's next week--I can feel all of that sweaty palms and mess people always talk about now.

Mar. 30th, 2009

 I guess I'll start by saying congrats to everyone that took home little superlatives. I didn't find myself very involved in the process but at the same time I'm not much on the whole "whose who," I don't really know enough people yet--and I really, really should, but eh--

So, I have the least dressed and best haired girlfriend of them all. I think that is rather thrilling--though I'd politely point out at this point that the clothes usually seen in pictures are for modeling purpose, and that she's fairly covered most of the time. And that she's mine sooo don't go getting no ideas. Mine.  And she's beautiful. And I'm in love. The best things I've written all day.

I got a pretty alright teacher who used to skate. So, I left him a new deck in his classroom. You know, just in case he gets the urge, it's a thanks for letting my ass survive this year kinda gift. Partly thanks for not putting me on house arrest kinda gift too. haha

I left an apple on Hanna's desk. Because back in the day, that's how you impressed teachers.
There's a note stuck to it that promises dinner and I'll even clean up the mess from it. Because that's how I do it.

Anyway. This is pretty uneventful, isn't it? I'm practicing hard for the competitions, my left arm has healed in full, and it's amazing, great, fantasitc, super terrif, to have the cast gone after a whole month and a half.
  "For some reason, I thought of my first fight with Tyler Durden."

 I woke up and I was caged like someone's pet bird and battered like the dough someone uses to make pizza out of. For a moment, I honestly couldn't even remember my name. The cleaning guy asked me, "what's your name, kid?"
I stammered through my thoughts, clenching my eyes tight, fighting to remember. If you're in a place like that, and you don't remember something as slight as your name..they tend to ship you off to the nut house. So, I struggled.
"Blair, how's Blair?"
And this dude really had no clue-- "he's space cadet" he told the officer behind my back.
"Kid got worked pretty bad. Tried robbing some young girl down at the beach"
Then it opened a flood gate in my mind.
"no,no,no I'm Riley..that was my friend, my friend Blair..some asshole tried to rob us.,.almost damn near killed us. Why am I here?"

 "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise"

"You can't fool us, you fucking street rat"

I don't remember moving until I heard Blair arguining with them, the whole messy thing was sorted, and the doors were open. No longer was I a criminal. I was 'sir' and 'Excuse me, son' and 'Take care now, Riley Adams'

"I am Jack's smirking revenge"

And Hanna Beth, my love..I'm sorry if you heard overnight that your boyfriend was some crazy man in jail. I'm crazy, but only within my own respects. I could use a super fabulous dinner with you though to make all the stupid nightmare stuff fade away.

And Mr. Bale thanks for a second chance, I appreciate it

      -The Jackass. 
   So, me and Hanna we're chatting and I came to the conclusion that we need to do something awesome shortly. Something so we both can escape from school and work for a little while, and just chill out. So, I will be researching different warm places--I'm thinking islands, and the best beaches there are to offer--if I win the skating competition next month you won't be seeing our amazing mugs for a few days. because I need a tan.

And because I have got the biggest craving for having a few drinks under the sun with my baby on an island. I mean, come on---tell me that doesn't sound awesome?

I am in a good fucking mood today.

I don't really ever have too much on my mind to stress me out, but lately I've been worrying a little bit about the skate competitions coming up this April. The thing is, with my left arm bound in a cast for the first half of March, it's going to be far weaker when I finally break out of it. This leaves me about three to four weeks of training to switch my style back over to my most confident routine. I'll admit, I'm not half bad at what I do, but at the same time I could stand to be better, even with my left arm floating most of my air tricks at full strength. I guess, this is just one of those rocky things you encounter. I wonder to myself if punching that  gay hater in the bar really was worth it--and then I decide 'fuck yeah it was.'  One thing I can't stand is seeing someone put down for whatever their choice in lifestyle may be.
  Anyway, the other thing swimming in the great Riley's stress vein is World History. I was a self proclaimed genius at the stuff in high school, but there's so much more stuff to absorb this time around! I know the basics, but the fine details and little dates are certain to trip me up everytime. No doubt, my courses this year are kind of hard. I'm not even a school geared guy, because sitting still drives me mad, but I don't want to screw it up here.
   My parents are pretty excited that i just attend classes, and so far, my grades aren't half bad. I guess it's because of this agreement my mom made with me a few years ago, she'd said to me--skating is fine, but if I'm not the next Tony Hawk--in case maybe it doesn't go the way I want it too, I should have a degree in something to at least back me up. Ma says it'll give me 'confidence'. I don't think she really gets the skating world, because there aren't too many confident scholars on our playing field, but I guess it's no different from any other sport. To get payed playing all day is the goal? 

 Then there's Hanna, whom when I'm with, this silly stuff melts off my mind and it's all focused on someone else. I like the feeling, normally I'm alone, normally I'm selfish not because I choose to be, but because there's simply no one to look after at the time.
I also got the news today that I'm going to be an uncle, Yeah---my older brother Jess has his girlfriend Kelly pregnant. It's good timing for Jess Jess, he's about 26, and she's a little older with this steady ass legal administrative gig. Jess is still working with his garage band, Oil, but at the same time also holding down a pretty sweet ass job turning wrenches on Philly's local race circuit.  Another reason for me to start thinking about others. I asked if they knew what sex the baby would be, and Jess Jess thinks it's a girl, Kelly thinks it's a boy. Too early to tell. I'm excited though...I mean, wow..a little one in our family. I'm just hoping this baby Adams is a bit more calm for it's grandparents sake! Oh, how my momma cried happy tears. I love when she does that, it makes me feel like I'm five again and i just said the right thing to make her tear up and crumble around me in a big hug. After that, oooohhh the shit i could pull. Painting on the walls, wrecking dirt bikes, wrecking vehicles, and myself it continues. Mostly.

 Anyway. That's about everything. I could always use a new friend or two, I had to leave allll mine back home. You dig?


Riley Adams

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